Impact.

To Write Love on Her Arms has impacted my life in so many ways. They helped me in a sense figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life. That is Counseling and helping people who struggle with those things. They also helped me last Valentines day when I just wanted to give up on life. I kept getting rejected then I talked to Jamie and Chris and they said that they would be my valentine. I mean granted they said that prob to a million people that day but it was the love that was behind it. TWLOHA’s has made an impact on me that words will not describe. They have become one of my many passions. And I strive that one day I can work along side of Jamie and Chris. This Valentines day because of last I just loved on everyone and was everyones valentine, even though I had one. I thank them for the impact they gave on my life when i met Jamie this summer at Warped Tour in Orlando. Granted I sounded like a screaming fan girl but I dont care. I was so over joyed to met the Man who agreed to be my valentine and he didn’t even know me. Just talking to him and getting my picture with him was an impact on itself. That is the impact that TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS has had on my life.

Don’t Speak

Why is it that we talk all the time?  Words say so much when spoken. But when actually written mean nothing. Why is that so? We can waste so much of our time talking about so much saying things we don’t mean then saying sorry then making up  for those words said.  We never acutally listen to what we say until after we have said them. Until we have broke someone, hurt someone, maybe even gave them fuel to kill themselves, and the things is we never know what our words do until after the fact. Theres so much regret after you say something sometimes you wish you never said it. For the fact  that it was either taken out of context or whatever. Its taken out of context because of all the noise of this dieing world  that it messes with what we said. Or the way this world has made our words to be twisted and wrong. This noise talking causes just adds to all of the other noises of this dead, dieing, small, griving, gross world.

Writting in a sense actually means more. Seriously think about it the nosie is limited to us around us. All you hear is the music in the backround, peoples chatter, doors opening, the t.vs, the speeder going down the street, the sound from the A.c going. ITs seriously almost peaceful. So it gives your mind the time it needs to think, wonder, explore, and think about your responces. You have the time to decide there is no one needing to rush somewhere who needs an answer asap. NOTHING! Its hard to take things out of context online. Except for the occasional online fight or wrong wordage. You have the back space button so you can edit before you hit send. I mean how many times a day do we seriously wish that we had that back space button but you cant take it back after you said it. I mean you choose to try to explain then to make sure to do it in the right tone of voice.

I challange people not to add to the noise for one day. And just be still. Write what you want to say and see how much smoother a convo may go or how much you realize. Things that you usually say then the effect it has on people. Maybe from someone saying it or some how. I challange you.

Learning to let go

Lately I have been trying to learn how just to let go of someone you like or love(friend or crush) and not be selfish. Its really hard. I mean you want to see them happy but you want to be the one that makes them happy. I mean end the end its the right thing. But all the darkness before the dawn sucks. You feel loney, confused, kicking yourself mentally for doing something, and etc.
The worst part is you know that god really has something better but you dont want to admit it. So you get angery with him. Because your still that kid in the toy store who wants that thing now and doesnt care what happens in the future to it. No matter how bad in the end it could hurt you.
Im starting to learn how to do it. Im still kicking myself when I do something around them I shouldnt or get upset when i shouldnt. How not to take things so personally. I mean its not easy. Sometimes I wish I wasnt learning this lesson. I wish it was just easier but its not. No matter how much I want to be the person who makes them happy, the one they turn to in a time of need, the one they want to be with, and ect. I just have to learn that its not always going to be that.
And I know God has a bigger better toy for me when I am ready for it. Not when I just want it. Its going to be something I hold on and cherrish forever. But I still am like why does this have to be so hard. Then Im like well if life was easy what would be the point in living. There would be nothing. Just what we wanted to satisfy us for that short time. I want that toy god has for me when I am ready..but the truth is the wait is much harder.

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight is an amazing movie. But why is it an amazing movie? Is it the action? The story? The Joker? The love story? The Good guy bad guy fights? The epic love and passion for one man to protect on city? How it relates to todays modern city? Was it the actors? Why is it amazing?
Well I saw the movie twice and I thought that it was all that and more. Then someone thats a hero of mine posed a very intellegent question. Is it amazing because of all the action, passion, love, actors, etc or is it because we all can relate to joker? In my mind I said both. Then I started thinking more on it. I read what they had listed as the traits of the joker. it said this…

“He is completely alone. No gang. No sidekick. He doesnt trust anyone. He doesnt need anyone. He is so disconnected that we never get to see his story. We never see the how or the heart of why - we only see the madness. There is no great love for what he is fighting for. Its not about the money – he sets that on fire. He values nothing. He loses himself.”

It really made me think. That I am the joker in some way or form. Everyone is. Yes we may not be a total nut ball on the outside but on the inside we have some of these traits. No one ever sees the Joker in anyone or sometimes themselves. I mean how a person looks on the outside is totally different from what the person may be SCREAMING on the inside. I mean how many times in a year do you feel alone, disconnected, give up on what we’re really fighting for, loses ourselfs in everthing? I mean I know I at least feel that once or twice a year. I mean Even if its in lose of love or life our true joker comes out. IT may not be insane like the movie but insane of the since of being the thing we try hardest to hide. I know its what I think but when you really look at yourself you see what I am saying.
Then I looked at one more charater. Batman. We all wear a mask to hide our true self from the world. Its not because we’re rich, well off or poor. But if people knew your deepest darkest screat it would ruin you. Just like it would ruin Batman. Knowing whos actually behind the mask is kinda of fun but not knowing makes it more mysterious. When you look at it this way it posses a question. Do you know the person behind the mask you wear everyday? Do you know what that person is capable of? I mean if we didnt would we want to know. Even if we do, do we like knowing that. This movie isnt good just for the fact of action and story lines. Its amazing because of the aspect it can make you look at yourself a bit more then you want when you think about it. Thats all for tonight. Much Love. X.O.X.O